"When the abbreviations KVN, FSB and KGB merge, it's not very funny anymore"

Internet Archive

4 min

July 27, 2015

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Vladimir Putin expressed sympathy to the Lithuanians and invited them to Russia. The Russian President noted the large outflow of Lithuanians from the country. Kommersant FM host Oksana Barykina discussed the topic with Andrei Bilzho, an artist, writer and restaurateur, and a psychiatrist by education.

"How many were there in Lithuania before, in Soviet times?" asked Vladimir Putin. Acting Governor of the Kaliningrad Region Nikolai Tsukanov answered that more than 3.5 million people lived in Lithuania, and now about 1.4 million residents remain. "More than half of the people have left the country. Let them come to us," Putin said. At the same time, the president called for not rejoicing at the difficulties that neighboring countries are facing. "Everyone has enough problems, let's not rejoice that they have problems. Let's solve our own," the president said.

- What do you think about this?

- Good morning, dear radio listeners, good morning, Oksana. I always feel a little scared when Vladimir Vladimirovich jokes lately. And don't be happy about other people's problems, let's solve our own. Somehow I feel uneasy, especially when KVN is in the Kaliningrad region, it seems that the Balts should tense up a little. Some kind of sinister jokes.

— Something good was said about Poland there.

- Yes, we have already overtaken Latvia and the Baltics and done it. And in a year, three, four - and we will finish off Poland.

- We'll do it.

"We will, yes."

- That is, now we are still pressing them, it turns out.

— And there were others like that. "KVN is the engine of progress and development of the Kaliningrad Region," the president said with a smile. "A bad beginning is the best, the main thing is not to stop," Maslyakov rejoiced. "As soon as KVN goes live, investors will be queuing, and we are already preparing land plots," the acting head of the Kaliningrad Region said and spoke about new hotels, mentioning a gambling zone. "They have their own gambling zone," Putin laughed, referring to KVN. "A gaming zone," Tsukanov clarified just in case. No, well, there were some funny guys there. I'm even afraid to say, to be honest, maybe we should finish the program?

— Before it’s too late?

— Yes, I'm afraid to say, frankly, how much I don't like KVN. Because I know that KVN has a lot of fans. But watching all these jokes is just unrealistic. I used to be a big fan of KVN, back in the Soviet Union. Because there really were jokes on the edge of a foul, and you understood that how is it, the Soviet Union and suddenly - bam, something slips out, Aesopian language and so on! And here they allowed it: here sits the president, and we joke about the president, and he laughs.

- Or maybe it's with age? By the way, I also loved KVN when I was young, although it's not Soviet anymore, and now I can't watch it.

- Oksana, my dear, it's a waste of time to talk about age. First of all, we are of different ages. Then, Alexander Maslyakov is an eternally young man. "And Lenin is so young, and the young October is ahead!" No, KVN is a huge empire, gigantic, with a gigantic number of fans. Maslyakov promoted this whole story and made it international. When KVN comes to the border with the Baltics, and such jokes begin, when the number of people in the Baltics who left there since the 90s is counted, come on, come to us, and we will issue you, if you bought a ticket to KVN, you will have a visa-free regime. Maybe I have paranoia, although I was treating paranoia, but you never notice it in yourself, let others say, but these jokes are close at hand, these "polite people" and "little green men" that sit in your head, "The Club of the Merry and Resourceful" - everything is connected, who is joking, who owns the abbreviation, who is in the room, everything changes.

People ask me, is it possible to joke about everything? It is possible to joke about everything. It is important who is joking, where they are joking and about what, in what audience. This is very important. And when the abbreviation FSB, the abbreviation KGB and KVN merge together and stand in one row separated by commas, it is somehow not very funny, some kind of sinister laughter. And when this joke "let those who bought tickets to KVN come to us, they will have a visa-free regime, and we will feed them sprats, ha-ha-ha" --- this is already a different "ha-ha-ha", somewhere behind the scenes, somewhere from the darkness and an echo of "ha-ha-ha". "How many do they have there? Was it 3.5? Did half leave? 1.7 million remain - ha-ha-ha - come to us, to Russia, we will feed you sprats here.

That's something like that, Oksana, I have, it's probably old age. You need to have fun, move from region to region, deal with your own problems, President Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin said correctly, don't interfere with anyone across the border, but somehow I would count how many have left since the 90s, and who left - this is very important.

- But, by the way, it would be nice to watch it now too.

— That's a completely different story. And if this year, in the first months of 2015 alone, 300 thousand people dropped out, and who are these people, and who came instead of them, I would scratch my head here and joke in a completely different way or would not joke at all, because the problem is quite acute. And somehow life and the Duma throw us such laws, prospects, especially with major repairs, that somehow I would joke about this, but then KVN would be closed. Be healthy, control yourself. Watch KVN, if you like it, have fun, be cheerful, and most importantly - resourceful, and control yourself.